How women lose a good man

How Women Lose A Good Man

How to Avoid It

Here is how women lose a good man. Let’s dive into how certain behaviors can lead to losing a great partner, and what you can do to prevent it. Relationships require effort from both parties, and small missteps can have bigger consequences. Ladies, here’s what to watch out for.

1. Taking Him for Granted

When a man has been consistently good to you over time, it’s easy to start taking his efforts and presence for granted. You may get comfortable and fail to recognize how much he contributes to the relationship. Over time, this lack of appreciation can wear on him, and he might begin to feel undervalued.

  • Why it happens: Many women, when in long-term relationships, become accustomed to their partner’s presence and his actions. This can lead to a lack of gratitude, and the man might feel as though his efforts are unnoticed.
  • How to avoid it: Show appreciation regularly. Acknowledge his efforts, both big and small. Express your gratitude with words or actions to let him know he’s valued. Research shows that appreciation strengthens relationships, making both partners feel seen and loved (Gottman, J. & Silver, N., The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work).

2. Not Communicating Well or Effectively

Effective communication is key to a healthy relationship. Expecting your man to read your mind or getting upset when he doesn’t understand your feelings is a common mistake. Communication is a two-way street; both partners need to express their thoughts and emotions clearly for mutual understanding.

  • Why it happens: Some women expect their partner to be able to intuitively understand their needs or moods, especially in long-term relationships. However, men and women often communicate differently, and miscommunication is inevitable if those differences aren’t acknowledged.
  • How to avoid it: Focus on clear, open communication. Be honest about your feelings, and express your needs directly rather than expecting him to read between the lines. According to the Harvard Business Review, clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings and builds stronger relationships (Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S., Difficult Conversations).

3. Being Dismissive About How Your Behavior Affects Him or Being Overly Defensive

When your actions hurt him, and you become dismissive or overly defensive instead of taking accountability, it can cause frustration and distance. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, and denying your responsibility or blaming him can lead to resentment.

  • Why it happens: A natural defense mechanism can lead some women to deny or deflect responsibility, often due to fear of conflict or vulnerability. It’s also possible that some may feel their feelings are being invalidated and react defensively.
  • How to avoid it: Practice active listening and acknowledge his feelings. When he holds you accountable, consider it an opportunity for growth. Taking responsibility for your actions helps foster trust and respect. Research from Psychology Today shows that accountability and humility can strengthen relationships (Burgo, J., The Narcissism Epidemic).

4. Being Self-Consumed and Unwilling to Compromise

A relationship requires compromise from both sides. Being overly focused on your own needs and desires while neglecting his can lead to imbalance. Relationships aren’t one-sided, and when one partner is consistently prioritizing themselves, the other will likely feel neglected.

  • Why it happens: It’s easy to become fixated on your own desires and frustrations. In some cases, people might feel entitled to their wants being met without considering the other person’s needs. This is often exacerbated by societal pressures that emphasize individualism over partnership.
  • How to avoid it: Foster an attitude of mutual respect and compromise. Make sure you’re not always putting your desires before his needs. According to The Gottman Institute, couples that actively practice compromise and mutual consideration have healthier, longer-lasting relationships (Gottman, J., The Relationship Cure).

5. Allowing Unaddressed Trauma or Insecurities to Affect the Relationship

Unresolved trauma or insecurities can become toxic when they are projected onto the relationship. If past wounds aren’t properly dealt with, they can make it difficult for him to enjoy his life or pursue his purpose. This can create an environment of emotional volatility that can drive him away.

  • Why it happens: Past experiences, especially childhood trauma or relationship baggage, can shape how we behave in future relationships. If these issues are never addressed or resolved, they can manifest as insecurity, jealousy, or emotional instability.
  • How to avoid it: Prioritize healing. If you have unresolved issues, it’s important to work through them, either through therapy or self-reflection. According to Psychology Today, individuals who actively seek healing and work on their insecurities have healthier relationships (Baumeister, R., & Leary, M. R., The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation).
Book of Scandals

Final Thoughts:

Relationships require constant effort, understanding, and care. Avoiding these five pitfalls will help you keep your bond strong and lasting. It’s about mutual respect, communication, and growth. Ladies, if you want to keep a good man, value him, communicate openly, be accountable, compromise, and address your emotional baggage.