What You’re Not Changing, You’re Choosing

Let me say this again: what you’re not changing, you are choosing. Let’s talk about decision vs. choice

Every complaint, every frustration you voice is a decision to accept the status quo if you’re not actively doing something to change it. Whether it’s your relationship, your health, your body, your career, or your finances—you’re making a choice. The question is, are you choosing what serves you best?

Change begins with a decision, and deciding is far more powerful than choosing. Why? Because choosing and deciding aren’t the same.

Choosing vs. Deciding

Choosing is about options. It’s browsing the menu, testing the waters, or keeping your options open. It’s safe. It’s noncommittal. You can always backpedal and try something else.

Deciding, however, is final. It’s deliberate. It’s cutting off all other possibilities and committing fully to a course of action. The word itself comes from the Latin decidere, meaning “to cut off.” Deciding means no escape routes, no safety nets—just forward momentum.

Think about it: when you choose a vacation destination, you can always plan another trip if it doesn’t work out. But when you decide to start a new life in a different country, you’ve left the old one behind. That’s the difference.

The Burned Ships: A Story of Total Commitment

Picture this: an army of soldiers sails across the ocean, landing on the shores of an enemy territory. They are vastly outnumbered. The terrain is foreign, the enemy well-prepared. Fear grips some of the soldiers as they disembark.

But their captain, a man of iron resolve, has a plan. As soon as the last soldier steps off the ships, he gives a shocking order: burn the ships.

At first, the soldiers hesitate. “Did we hear that right?” they wonder.

“Yes,” the captain commands. “Burn them all!”

Flames engulf the vessels that carried them there. Smoke billows into the sky, and the men watch as their only means of retreat is reduced to ash and embers.

The captain turns to his men, his voice cutting through the crackling fire. “We now have only two options: fight and win—or die. There is no going back.”

The soldiers are forced to confront the reality of their situation. With no way to retreat, their fear transforms into focus. The thought of defeat becomes intolerable. They fight with a ferocity and determination they didn’t know they possessed.

And they win.

This story has echoed through history as a lesson in commitment. The burning ships weren’t just an act of destruction; they were a decision. The captain made it clear: retreat was not an option. That clarity changed everything.

A Choice or a Decision?

Now, let me tell you about another story—a suspenseful one. During a brutal war, a prisoner of war (POW) gained the favor of the camp’s captain. One day, the captain offered him a peculiar kind of freedom.

“There are two options,” the captain explained. “Stay here in the camp, where you’ll eventually die. Or walk through that door.”

The prisoner glanced at the door. It was heavy and foreboding, with strange noises coming from the other side—animal growls, rustling leaves, unknown dangers.

“You have until tomorrow morning to decide,” the captain said.

We’ll revisit this story shortly.

Why We Stay Stuck

Far too often, people cling to what they know—even when it’s harming them—because the unknown feels scarier.

• Relationships: Many stay in toxic or abusive relationships, complaining about mistreatment, but doing nothing to leave. Why? Because the thought of being alone, or starting over, feels worse than the familiar pain.
• Jobs: People stay in jobs they hate, waking up every morning dreading the day ahead. They could decide to look for better opportunities, but fear of rejection or failure keeps them stuck.
• Finances: Financial struggles are a common complaint, yet so many choose not to take action—whether it’s budgeting, learning about investments, or starting a side hustle. The fear of failure or change is often stronger than the discomfort of being broke.

But here’s the thing: complaining doesn’t change anything. Action does.

Revisiting the POW Story

Let’s go back to our prisoner.

The next morning, the camp was eerily quiet—until it wasn’t. A sharp volley of gunfire broke the silence, reverberating through the camp.

The captain and his first lieutenant walked toward the scene.

“Sir,” the lieutenant said, his voice trembling. “Isn’t that the man you offered a choice to?”

The captain’s face hardened as he looked at the lifeless body on the ground. “Yes.”

“But he could have walked through the door to freedom,” the lieutenant said, incredulous.

The captain sighed. “He decided to stay here. He feared what lay beyond the door more than the certainty of death.”

Behind that door was a path to freedom. But the prisoner’s fear of the unknown paralyzed him. He made his decision—not to act.

The Cost of Fear

Fear is a powerful force. It convinces us to settle for less, to cling to the familiar, to choose comfort over growth. But growth requires hard decisions.

Easy choices—staying in the relationship, sticking with the job, avoiding financial risks—often lead to hard lives. Hard decisions, though, lead to freedom.

You know what you need to do. You don’t need more choices; you need to make a decision.

Decide to Build a Better Future

Take finances, for example. The book From Broke to Building Wealth lays out a clear blueprint for financial freedom. It doesn’t just throw statistics at you—it provides real-world examples and practical steps.

For less than $12, you can gain insights that could change your life. That’s less than the cost of two Starbucks drinks. Deciding to invest in yourself could set you on the path to wealth and freedom.

What Will You Decide?

Remember: what you’re not changing, you’re choosing.

Don’t let fear paralyze you like it did the prisoner. Be like the soldiers who burned their ships. Decide to move forward, to grow, to fight for the life you deserve.

Your future depends on it. What will you decide today?